Procyon II Being an Armin van Buuren fan for many years now, I will throw a little respect at the attempt. I know where the original background stems from and I'm not knocking the lyrics that [i]you[/i] made, but it really does not fit the music tone at all. I feel this could be a lot better if the lyrics were given a different melody to flow with. Like, I mean that your lyrics don't line up with the beat of the song at all, though it very closely mimics the Youtopia beat, the lyrics do not fit this song.
Sorry for my lack of grammar and sentence structure, I'm tired and typically do not write reviews very much anymore. But since I really enjoy the original and heard this, I had to write at least something. What I would like to see from you is for you to remake this song with an original tune with the same lyrics. I feel that this song would be better in that respect than taking a tune that was designed for a different set of lyrics and putting in yours instead.
You could also throw in some more effects along the way versus keeping the same looping melody in the background. Make sound bits to throw in along with the melody and switch up the song some, I understand you are still learning, so don't take this review the wrong way. Again, I am pretty tired so that may affect the way that I'm writing this review or how it comes off as.
Anywho, keep working at it and you'll find your swing.
MMZX - Trap Factory 
ParagonX9 - Chaoz Fantasy 